How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
