This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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