I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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