we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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