I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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