Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
