i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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