I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
