Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Randomize
