I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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