I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
