Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
