So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
