I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
