People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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