i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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