my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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