I wanna bring you to show and tell
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
