It's like God shit irony all over that family
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
