I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
