guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
