you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
