Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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