Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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