Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Semen is not good for contacts.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I can't put those talents on a resume
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
