They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
