I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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