I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
