Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
