Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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