Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
