Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he fucked my hip out of place.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
