I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
