are you still at the devil's house?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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