And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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