need another drink. this is the easiest way
honey bunches of taint.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
There's always time for handjobs
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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