they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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