She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
