You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
