What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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