There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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