Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
