I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
