Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
