Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
