We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
