I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
