I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
