we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
