I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
