That's intense
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
