Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I need to wash the frat house off of me
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
