it was like fucking gandolphs beard
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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